Articles by René Robben

From a D.I.Y. perspective dealing with emotional imbalance and cognitive distortions with non-fluency as an exemplary result of the emotional imbalance.

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“What I discovered and still do today, behind my personal stuttering-strategy, was something I’d call an imbalance. While plotting out what had me block and stutter, I started to see patterns, or say ways of habitual thinking that triggered the non-fluency. Mapping it all out, a bit further, I came across things like judgmental thinking, feeling more or less, etc… Everything had something to do with an imbalance. Emotional imbalance if you like. Making my non-fluency very much a Cognitive Distortion. Based system at work. Paying specific attention to these areas helped me to overcome my non-fluency strategy to a large extent. In this e-book I cover these areas from my own point of view. The feedback I got so for on this e-book stretches very wide. Which only shows that the stuttering strategies can differ from PWS to PWS. But the e-book might well provide the reader with some pointers to start working on.”

Rene Robben

By Rene Robben

Unmasking the masked fear of communicating with adults

In a follow up on my words on Choices, The procrastination to interrupt (adults) and a bunch of other things, I would like to tell you how I discovered there was still one massive Childhood Program dominating my software.

Before I go on I want to express my utmost love and respect for my mom and dad, and that I will never, and I repeat, never, run a blame game on them. They did as they believed would be best, running their own programs. I’ve never doubted their love for me. I’ve never doubted them being proud of their son and all his non-mediocre achievements. I’ve never doubted all they wanted was what was best for me.

However… this does not imply that I will discard anything that I discover while on this path of decoding, that appears to originate from them imposing their programs on me. In several trance sessions with myself I already stumbled on them playing part in what kept me stammering and away from feeling free. But perhaps it was just too early for me to see what part or say program was played and running behind all the other programs.

Last week one talk with my dad led to a second and a third. I had already learned the hard way that any attempt to make him accept my point of view was useless. At least the direct approach. From childhood on, up till this last week, I would “loose” any discussion that would easily end in a verbal battle. His sometimes overwhelming verbal power supported by an intimidating body language, always made me become a victim in the play, and thus loose.

But pay some attention to these last words. When we humans are just thought, then, what made me loose those discussions, what made me become a victim of my dad’s way of expressing his opinion, were my own thoughts. I let my thoughts turn on the victim program. And this has been happening since the day I tried to talk to him or mom when something important to me, was on my mind.

As a child I would see an adult, that had great power over me. And I was submitted to the adults whim, if or if not I was allowed to express myself. As a child I learned many things and also new ways to get these adults to show interest in what was on my mind, or say just me. The repetition of this, together with the occasional success, masked the original program with the coded fear for adults in communication. Making me a victim all my life whenever I felt a need to get people to know me, when I liked/loved them. Also causing me to believe I had to do my best to be anybody’s friend, to increase the chance to be liked back by those I liked. Along with this distorted fear for adults in communication pattern, the adult factor also turned into non-adults, increasing the trigger of me feeling a need to be liked by anybody even more.

In time this pattern changed. Surely it did. When I met people I did not like, or did not want in my life as friends etc, I did not feel this need, and did not become the overly friendly person as in other cases. But the essence of the pattern remained when I did came across people I liked/loved.

All this resulted in a very skilled way to easily adapt myself to others. Even say building a report (as in NLP is discussed) to get on their level and “become friends”. But as the desired results did not occur, I slipped even deeper into the pitfall and went into great length to lower my own esteem to get things done as I desired.

I found out the hard way that people in general sense if someone is lowering their esteem, which has an slimming effect on the initial respect they might have for this person. And I should know. I’ve experienced this both ways. There have been people who felt a desire to be my friend and went into great length to achieve that. But they often failed in the attempt as their lowered esteem of themselves, made me feel less and less respect for them. Not consciously, but more on a subconscious level, making me unaware of the mechanism, and thus unable to see that I was doing the same thing to myself when I wanted to be “friends” with someone.

During my changes over the last couple of weeks, I’ve felt enormous shifts in this behavior, also resulting in the non-fluency to change. But I still was not quite there. Still not totally fluent.

I had already acknowledged that I had been walking around with a fear when talking to my dad. And when admitting to this I was able to be very fluent when talking to him. Which had an enormous impact on me. But as said, there was still something going on. Something was still out of the order. Something could still need a bit of mental shifting and tweaking. But what? What was it?

With all this thinking and pondering about the dozens of childhood believes, I knew it had something to do with my parents. I also knew that it was not my mom, or at least I knew that her influence on me as a child had already been transformed in something that works for me as a 33 year old when it comes to communicating by voice. So I was left with my dad.

While taking in mind that he was still having this habit of really throwing himself into a discussion, using many examples to underline his “right”, or view on the subject, I knew I had to work hard on keeping my cool and stay relaxed. I knew I needed to stay in touch with what I thought was me and any signal heading my consciousness to render me a victim again had to be re-framed.

In my first talk, last week, with dad, I had fired several opinions on raising children into the discussion and noticed how he would just wipe them of the table. To me it felt like he was not listening to what I had to say. Discarding my opinions and thus discarding me as an adult with something to say about the matter, and the experiences of my own childhood. There was more to it. It felt like he was denying the existence of me with my opinions, in his world (his mind)

(But I knew he was not denying me anything! Rationally I knew he would give his life for me. I knew he was proud of me and the guts I’ve show these last months to deal with the non-fluency and other things that ruled my life. I knew, rationally, he totally accepted me as his 33 year old son, but in my mind that certain switch had not been flipped yet on a deeper level.).

Where does it go wrong? Well, in the way he was responding to me. It took me a while, if not weeks, to figure out that my dad always answers in examples. So instead of just saying: “Hey, I agree with what you are saying!”, he will come up with a story from his own memories that will reflect what he thinks of my (or any one else’s) opinion. A tough cookie to crack, but I did. And so I was able to listen in a different way to his statements and discovered that he was in fact listening to every word I had to say. Not that he agreed to what I said, but at least I finally was able to make myself feel that he was listening to me. Very important.

This made me have a more closer look at how my father thinks and how he sees the world. And then it dawned on me where things went wrong in the past. With his 100% integrity according to his own illusions :-), his incredibly smart and fast brain, he gets easily upset and frustrated, and phase locked looped between his own realm and reality. The anger I used to hear in his voice was not directed towards me, but towards the topic of the discussion. His body language, which he uses to emphasize his “right” on the subject was not directed towards me, but to the topics at hand.

I looked further and tried to perceive the world from his mind and eyes. And yes, the world had turned into an instant mess and a pool of wrongs and not-rights. Many people turned into ignorant gits. And other people were raised onto thrones surrounded by heavenly lights because of their sense of humor, wit, cleverness, integrity, honesty, job-tittles, and other titles. My dad turns out to have an issue with Judging… hmmmm….

I wonder if that too has rubbed off on me in the past 🙂 PWS joke, that is. HA!

In my second talk I knew what I had to do to get behind his way of talking. I remained calm throughout the talk. Ever so calm. With a tight focus on the outcome. Which was to make him see by examples from his own life, how difficult he had rendered his own life while holding on to distorted beliefs and thus questionable habits. And I guess he realized there was some truth in my words, as he too calmed down and stayed calm and actually started to give me the impression he was listening to me.

Now, him listening to me has nothing to do whether I’m right or wrong, or that I think I’m right. I just want others to hear my opinion just as I hope I give others ample time to express theirs. That’s it. And for years and years I never got the impression my dad gave me this time to ventilate my thoughts into the discussions and talks at hand. Except when talking about cars and engines. Something he knows nothing about, or is unaccustomed to  and when he needed my assistance to get his Ford running as smooth as my Chevy 🙂

So, what changed in my belief system from childhood?

At long last my dad, the most important man in my life, was listening to me and hearing me out on what I had to say, even when I told him about the “wrongs” in his way of thinking and perceiving the world. He was listening and asking me things. Getting back to things I mentioned earlier.

I my world of thoughts a thought was born that I had finally managed to get accepted in his world of thoughts as an adult. This dissolved the old belief of me being his kid and him my father. Now a new belief was written that I could have a talk with him with me still being his kid and him my father, with the difference that I could be a 33 year old adult.

Even now, thinking this change through it sounds so simple and obvious. So silly and even stupid. But I guess I was still stuck in the problem and unable to step out of it, to have a better look (META) on the chains from the past that were preventing me to feel really free.

And for those who are new to this type of decoding relationships, I want to firmly express that the error was not in my dad’s behavior, but in my own! Once you get this into your mind as a guideline to find a new way to deal with your thoughts, you’ll really become able to start to change your habits. Remind yourself of the saying: Make the world a better place and start with yourself.

In the third talk I took things even further. Again I remained as calm as possible, in touch with myself and my freed me, and took my dad on another stroll along his own shelves where he stores his experiences, habits and beliefs. Again it happened, where he was talking to me (the adult), instead of to his child. We were actually exchanging thoughts on the subjects and I learned from him as he did from me.

To put it differently. In a way my relationship with him changed from the “child and father” into the “friend/adult/child and father” concept. And this change has had a massive impact on me. It feels as if I have climbed my last mount Everest, pinned a flag on top, and am enjoying the view. Getting through to my father has really done something important in my set of thoughts that concoct me.

And to take all this a bit further, read closely and be stunned, as I was.

Even in the last couple of weeks, when I was already feeling so freed from old beliefs I was still somewhat occupied with relationships between me and other adults (same age or older as me) that I like or love, and where the relationship still needs a bit of welding, sanding and painting. Even though I felt I could finally present me as myself to them, without being trapped in feeling a need to be liked to feel happy about myself, I was also still feeling some fear of saying something wrong that might damage the young and fresh relationship. Something I do not feel in friendships that go back 7, 10, 15, or 20 years.

The (in my thoughts!) changed relationship with my father made me realize that there was still something getting in my way now and then. You may guess know!

Well, I’ll tell you. Whenever I met these people that are involved in the young and fresh relation/friendships, I was still seeing adults, that I needed:

“To ask for asking for permission to exist in their minds (be liked by them)”

So in a way I was still trapped in the childish beliefs that I needed to ask people if I could ask them, if I could please, please, pretty please exist in their minds, since I liked/loved them so much.

This has now totally left me. And ever since I got this re-framing done in my mind I really feel free from a massive load of my shoulders, chest, heart and mind. Finally free!

I might even add that I never felt this lonely and empty. Something strong, that I used to carry around with me all my life has left me and it left an empty spot. That’s how it feels right now. As if something got ripped from my chest and a gaping whole is now sucking air.

Still, I’m as fluent as any other fluent. Now I’m really fluent. As not one single talking human can be any different from me as I am finally alleged to refer to myself as an adult, by the renewed principles in my re-coded brain.

Those of you, who still struggle with non-fluency as an adult in an adult world (think, not stammering while talking to kids… :-), might need to take a closer look at their relationship with their parents. And parents who are reading this might have a closer look at how they impose themselves on their non-fluent children.

My parents have been adults all my life. I turned older, but seemed to have not noticed I turned into an adult as well. And thus I was still a child when talking to adults, and unable to join them on the same level of adulthood. Now as I’ve gotten rid of this:

“Stuck in Childhood When It Comes to Communicating with Adults” Pattern, I can be an adult and really feel free as an adult of 33, with less and lesser hair and more and more wrinkles, extra padding and worries about retirement and health 🙂

It has been a pleasure as always to share this with you, and I hope it will nuke some of your old habits when you’re dealing with the same “crap” as I am/have/had to/have done and did.

Fondly,

Rene

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Would you like to learn more about how Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Neuro-Semantics can assist you in developing more choice in your life and therefore the gaining of more fluency?  I have added several links to René’s article and placed them below. Please read them  in the order of their listing.

Bob Bodenhamer

Articles by Bob Bodenhamer and Michael Hall

http://www.neurosemantics.com/Articles/Brains_101.htm

http://www.neurosemantics.com/Articles/Personal_Change.htm

http://www.neurosemantics.com/Articles/How_to_Meta_State.htm

http://www.neurosemantics.com/Stuttering/Hypnosis_and_Stuttering.htm

http://www.neurosemantics.com/Stuttering/Stuttering_Structure.htm

http://www.neurosemantics.com/Articles/Meta_Yes-No.htm

http://www.neurosemantics.com/Stuttering/Resolve_Stuttering.htm

http://www.neurosemantics.com/Articles/Stuttering-to-Stability.htm

http://www.neurosemantics.com/Stuttering/Drop_Down_Through.htm

Make sure you join our e-mail list where you will find great posts and fantastic conversation about how to overcome blocking & stuttering using Neuro-Semantics:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/neurosemanticsofstuttering/

Articles from John Harrison:

www.mnsu.edu/dept/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/Harrison/hexagonarticle.html

www.neurosemantics.com/Stuttering/Unpredictability.htm

The Hawthorne Effect and It’s Relationship to Chronic Stuttering

By Rene Robben

Pour la traduction française, cliquez ici (PDF)

Introduction

A whole lot of my mistakes in my past were based on the fact that I was unable to make choices for myself. Or, if I did make choices for myself, they would be overruled by the opinions of others, like parents, friends etc. However, I now do the things I feel I need to do and I don’t listen to the well-meant opinions of those who “guided” me in the past. You can call me “curly”, with my shaved head, but ever since I started doing this, I have an easier type of life with the coolest things happening to me. This represents a major change in my life. In my earlier life I allowed others to make my choices for me; now, I make my own choices.

So…

What if, with some PWS, their struggle for recovering from non-fluency is too dominated by the fact they (still) cannot choose for themselves what is best for themselves? What if some PWS read the success stories of other PWS and learn how it is possible to alter ones thought patterns which will lead them to recovery? They start to really believe that fluency is possible; they are willing to try it by submitting themselves to these new methods. Indeed, the feeling to try is strong. However,  they still feel like a failure because they cannot make the choices necessary inside their minds to give in to these new methodologies as the best thing for them to gain fluency.

For instance. I’m in contact with a young bloke who seems to swirl around the same thing over and over again. From his words I can tell that he already knows the answers; he knows what is best for him to start acting on. But he still can’t make the step to “just do it”. Could it be that he’s being mentally blocked by the fact that he never learned to choose for himself? I mean, as I said, the minute I realized I no longer had to let my life be controlled by others in order for me to feel safe, I leapt forward into this new life where I’m liberated of so many old fears and “what not”.

I chose to change. Even now, when friends get a bit scary, I still choose what ever feels to me as being good for me. No one controls me any more. Heck, I even left work on Friday as I felt it would serve me better to go for a drive. (Which is a story in itself). What if, every pattern we try to alter, every old habit or belief we have is re-framed (change the meaning), but the results are not as intended, or not to satisfactory? Could it be that the mere fact of knowing one has to first be ready to choose whatever is best for oneself, and be able to choose for oneself, in order to really make “IT” happen, is missing?

What if at the base of it all lies the biggest pattern of all:

“I fear the fear of choosing what is best for me.”

What if one is unable due to childhood and adolescent programming from parents and other significant adults to make ones owns choices? Because of this earlier programming one has feelings linked to not wanting to make one’s own choices. We have these beliefs from childhood that we are incapable of making our own choices and the best thing for us to do to remain “safe” is to let others choose for us.  This is what is commonly called co-dependent behavior.  We depend on others to choose our lives for us because we feel incapable of doing so.

I can’t get over the thought that somewhere at the base of my whole change process, and thus perhaps also of other PWS with similar patterns like me, is one gigantic pattern messing things up. And what is this pattern? – it is the inability to make one’s own choices due to our low self-esteem which renders us incapable of making our own choices.

I am speaking of making choices based on beliefs and insights that change by having the ability to choose for one’s-self, by knowing somehow what is best for one’s-self. I’m surrounded by people who somehow detect that I have made some significant changes in my life. They are interested in how I pulled it off – to feel this enormous freedom. But none of them, besides one or two who are giving it a try, are able to make that same switch in their mind.

As if it is “impossible” for them to act upon the truth they see happening right in front of them (me), even fully understanding what I’m talking about, what I’m showing them, even getting to a point where they believe it can and will work for them, but that they cannot choose for what is seemingly the better option for them.

Could it be that at the base of all is this one pattern:

“the fear of fear of choosing for oneself” (or what is best for oneself)

And that this is the number one habit from childhood where choices where made by parents. Is in all this the simple truth hidden that a sweater is something a child wears when the mother thinks it is chilly? That one cannot decide what a sweater is until mom explains it as something to wear when it is getting colder, but now she thinks it is not cold, so the sweater no longer exists?

Conclusion

All right here we go!

What is what makes you decide to wear that sweater anyway? Is it you, because you like it, or is it because you believe you will be liked, wearing that sweater?

What is that makes you unwillingly to go to the restaurant your friend seems to prefer while you really fancy some French fries, or toasted snails with garlic butter drenched frogs?

What?

What is preventing you from choosing what is best for you and stopping you from judging your own being as less then that of someone else’s being? What is it that makes you “do” instead of “be”?

What is that lets you form an opinion, but still makes you shut up when the occasion arises to air that opinion? And what does that mean to you?

I can go on with this. No problem. But let me tell you that the number one thing that surfaced from my thoughts and ponder on my recovery trip so far is that I finally dared to choose for myself. It took five months of my life; living like a hermit in my studio, reading, thinking, writing and what not, and yes, going out in the mine-fields and battle zones to face the explosions of fear and shrapnel like emotions piercing my soul.

Put on your best armor; which is to wear nothing, except for your smile and some clothing so you will not get arrested as a streaker, and face those fears, embrace them, tell them you understand why they are there, that you know they only want to warn you. Make that CHOICE, and step into the world, and realize you are just as unique a hump of carbon, water and thoughts as the next hump of carbon, water and thoughts.

If Harvey Keitel can become my number one friend in the movies, like Samual Jackson, without me even knowing they were PWS, then why the friggen opposite of heaven should I think I am less than anybody else?

Get out there and walk up to that person you would like to talk to. Walk up to that boy or girl and stammer as much as your brain will allow you to. You might find out that this person will show interest, as he or she senses the respect you have for yourself, and at the third date you’ll find out they have their own “thing” that makes them feel vulnerable. They may have smelly feet. That reminds me of the most gorgeous brunette I ever knew – which was not the reason why it did not work out by the way.

Get out there and by your own given powers (your fantastic brain) spread your opinion on matters that have your concern and contend and show the world that you have this respect for yourself by making that choice to respect yourself and feel how people respect you for who you are. And while doing so, remind yourself of this Dutch PWS who needed 30 years to convince himself that he couldn’t be every one’s friend and because of that he became an even better friend to those who respected him.

So what is next?

What if you recover from non-fluency, and you then think your voice is not that nice… Wouldn’t that be a stinker? Yep it would. So get it inside your head that what is you right now, is you right now, just as the rest of the world is them right now, and nothing else, right now and in the future.

Guess what?

This morning I looked in the mirror and again I saw that same face that once belonged to that dreadful, negative thinker, who felt constant tension, filled with fear, ego crap, and low-self esteem. The same face. Perhaps with lesser hair but I can’t tell for I didn’t do a recount. Perhaps I have a wrinkle or 30 or more, yet still the same, but yet so different. And all I did was to commit myself to the needed change and discovered that I did not have to leave 3 months of paychecks at some clinic to do the trick. Instead I increased the stock value of www.amazon.com and read the books until I achieved what I feel right now.

Happy thoughts. Positive thoughts. Fearless thoughts. Self esteem increasing thoughts. Helping others thoughts. Brighter thoughts. No more Dark thoughts. No more do I need to “look at the ground” thoughts. And much more of those thoughts that made me feel so detached from a world appeared to have nothing to do with such thoughts.

If you like me, you got a friend, if you don’t, don’t expect me to lower myself, stand in your shadow, while I think I can become your friend by doing that.

If you like me, you got a friend, if you don’t, I suggest you try to find someone else that is more compatible. There’s a planet full to choose from.

If you like me, I bet you base that on the respect you feel, and I’ll keep track if that is the agenda, if not, I suggest you get to a Neuro-Semantic training and read a Wayne Dyer book, or Goleman paperback. If you don’t like me, I suggest you start to listen to yourself, pay attention what is that makes you feel you don’t like me. Perhaps you’ll discover what is keeping you from feeling as free as I feel right now.

The above is an excerpt of the inner-dialog I presently have and one I keep working on to keep. I made it a habit to no longer accept that anyone can, will or could make me feel less, angry, frustrated or whatever else negative frame one can think of. I do however accept the feelings when they occur, but I know they are just thoughts that I’m working on to flush out of my system – like I already did with so many else. I made a choice, a vow, to choose what is best for me and this is that I need to feel free to excel in the years that are to come. There’s just one person you have to answer to and that is yourself. Till the last second, your last breath, you’ll have to deal with yourself on this lump of dirt in a galaxy that extends beyond any human comprehension (which should really get you to think on how so called important we are :-), and thus why not start with making sure you did what you felt you had to choose for in the life that is given to you..

You are your own god in your holy brain, get that and stay on top of it.

Happy scripting your own life,

René

Would you like to learn more about how Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Neuro-Semantics can assist you in developing more choice in your life and therefore the gaining of more fluency?  I have added several links to René’s article and placed them below. Please read them  in the order of their listing.

Bob Bodenhamer

Articles by Bob Bodenhamer and Michael Hall

http://www.masteringstuttering.com/Articles/Brains_101.htm

http://www.masteringstuttering.com/Articles/Personal_Change.htm

http://www.masteringstuttering.com/How_to_Meta_State.htm

http://www.masteringstuttering.com/Stuttering/Hypnosis_and_Stuttering.htm

http://www.masteringstuttering.com/Stuttering_Structure.htm

http://www.masteringstuttering.com/Articles/Meta_Yes-No.htm

http://www.masteringstuttering.com/Stuttering/Resolve_Stuttering.htm

http://www.masteringstuttering.comArticles/Stuttering-to-Stability.htm

http://www.masteringstuttering.com/Stuttering/Drop_Down_Through.htm

Make sure you join our e-mail list where you will find great posts and fantastic conversation about how to overcome blocking & stuttering using Neuro-Semantics:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/neurosemanticsofstuttering/

Articles from John Harrison:

www.mnsu.edu/dept/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/Harrison/hexagonarticle.html

www.masteringstuttering.com/Unpredictability.htm

The Hawthorne Effect and It’s Relationship to Chronic Stuttering

by Rene Robben

Pour la traduction française, cliquez ici (PDF, page 9)

Tell me…

• Why do we feel less than others?
• Why are we doing this?
• Why are we doing this to ourselves?
• Why are we giving away our power?
• Why are we constantly making others more important than ourselves?
• Why is that we give more value to others and so little to ourselves?
• What is that has us feel less important than others?
• Why don’t we stand up for ourselves?
• What is the worst thing that can happen when we do?
• What do we gain from lowering ourselves in value in relation to others?
• What makes them so (censored) important?
• Why are we less significant than others?
• Is fluent speech really the number one thing that would make us more significant, more important?
• Is the fluent speech of others the number one thing that has them more valuable than us?
• Do we become “them” and just as important the second we are fluent, like them?
• Is it really just our flaw in speech that has us become that less of value in relation to others?
• Are we really that useless, because we can’t express ourselves all that fluent?

A single cell organism has no brain, yet it is alive. This means that a brain has nothing to do with life as such.

• Does being fluent in speech really make someone the supreme light of intellect in the universe?
• Are we silly, stupid, ignorant, less than crap, not fit to be called human, because our speech has a flaw?
• Are we as PWS, really that useless and a waste of genes and natural resources?
• Would the world be better off without us?
• Would those who are fluent be better off without having to deal with us, the non-fluent?
• Are the fluent humans really that much better and more important than we?
• Are they?

For (censored) sake, Stephen Hawkings can’t speak at all. He needs a (censored) computer to do it for him!

At least his computer is fluent! But I bet the IBM Speech Processing Software it runs, has a bug or two.

• Why do we let hierarchical status become so much more important than being human in the first place?
• Why is our boss no longer a human like us, when he puts on his suit and drives his Audi A8 W12?
• Why is social status so much more important than being a loving, caring and helpful human?
• Why is making mistakes so bad?
• Why do we have to do everything right the first time?
• What do we really gain from doing everything perfect and being perfect all the time?
• Why is being perfect so (censored) important?
• What makes any human being so (censored) important?
• How can anybody be more important than you, me, us?
• What is the worst thing that can happen when we start saying “no!”?

If the majority of humans were PWS, would there be trainings to become non-fluent for the fluent people?

• Why do we take our real friends for granted?
• Why do we take the love from friends and family for granted?
• Why do we forget these people, who obviously have chosen to love us?
• Why are those who do not give us this love, more important than those who already give it to us?
• Why do we so often seek guidance, to then discard it all together?

Why do we seek the love and attention from those who seemingly do not give it to us?

• What makes you more important than me?
• What makes me more important than you?
• Why do we seek existence in other peoples life?
• Why do we need others to tell us we are competent and worth “something”?
• Why do we seek praise for our efforts?
• When is enough, enough?

Would the overall view on blocking and stuttering change if Robby Williams was a PWS, and blocked during interviews, and that he told the world he doesn’t give a (censored) (censored) about it?

• Would stuttering become a fashion trade if Paris Hilton or Britney Spears started doing it?
• Would it become something cute?
• Why is it that we make up any meaning and belief for things we do not understand?
• Why do we defend that what we believe?
• What do we gain from protecting beliefs that have clearly not been of benefit to us?
• Why do we hold on to the past?
• Why do we try to change the past with “should have” and “could have”
• Why do we daydream, instead of living our dreams?
• Why do we externalize the solution to our problems?
• Why is it so hard to take responsibility for our own choices and actions?
• Why is it so hard to make choices for ourselves?

And why do so many people complain about things that cannot be changed? Like the weather!?

A bien tot!

Rene