Articles by Alan Badmington

by Alan Badmington, from Wales, UK

Although I began stuttering during early childhood, it is only during recent years that I have gained an understanding of how I developed my stuttering mindset.

Throughout my life, there were times when I experienced difficulty in communicating with others. I blocked on many words and struggled to speak in various situations. Each time I stuttered on a particular letter/word, I became more afraid of saying that letter/word. I also stuttered more noticeably when speaking to specific people.

As a result of the problems that I encountered, I developed certain beliefs about myself. For example, I believed that I could not use 13 letters of the alphabet and would avoid them at all costs. I adopted avoidance strategies, including extensive use of word substitution. I also believed that I would stutter when I was the centre of attention; giving detailed explanations; or addressing groups.

There were many other self-limiting beliefs that I held in relation to my speech, the most powerful being that I would never be able to deal with my stuttering issues. The latter belief remained firmly ingrained until 2000 when I met someone who had made immense strides in overcoming his stutter. This caused me to question whether I might also be able to attain some improvement. He became my role model.

SPRINGBOARD FOR CHANGE

Shortly afterwards, I acquired new tools and techniques that I found relatively easy to implement in the group environment in which they were being taught. Everyone was so supportive and accepting – I felt totally at ease.

Within a few days, I achieved a high degree of control over my speech, eliminating blocks and learning how to cope with the challenging words that had always held such an emotional charge. For the first time in my life, I enjoyed talking. I grew, immensely, in confidence.

But although I was able to speak well in that reassuring setting, I suspected that it would be difficult to transfer those gains into the outside world. Memories of past traumatic experiences triggered self-doubt, while concerns that others might judge my new speaking behaviours were never far from the surface.

I recognised that the acquisition of tools and techniques, in isolation, had only limited value. I knew that I needed to do so much more than simply focus on the mechanics of my speech. You see, I was still operating under my old belief system. I continued to have reservations about ordering at a drive-thru; of speaking on the telephone; of addressing an audience; and of saying those letters/words that had caused me so many problems.

Our beliefs and self-image play such a prominent part in our lives because what we believe (and how we see ourselves) colours how we think. Correspondingly, our thoughts influence our behaviours and emotions.

I set about dismantling the psychological framework that had supported my stutter for more than half a century. In order to initiate change, I first identified those areas in which I had been holding back. I then devised an extensive plan of action that allowed me to consolidate (and test) my new speaking patterns in a wide range of situations. I expanded my comfort zones and did the things I always thought I could not do. (Badmington, 2003)

DISSENTING VOICE

Changing my beliefs and self-image was a gradual process. In the early stages, there were times when my inner critic would interrupt (while I was speaking) and say such things as “Why aren’t you stuttering? You should be stuttering. You ALWAYS have problems in these situations.”

When I initially became aware of this negative internal dialogue, I would momentarily experience the discomfort and insecurity associated with my past difficulties. I was uncertain of my identity. I felt that I should still be stuttering because that is what I had done since childhood. I did not ‘feel’ like Alan Badmington.

Gradually, the voice became less talkative and, finally, fell silent. I came to accept (and felt comfortable with) the new techniques and different manner of speaking. It no longer felt ‘strange’. I was far more relaxed, more assertive, more confident and more in touch with happenings.

I also grew accustomed to my wider self-image that incorporated many additional and challenging roles. These new responsibilities no longer felt unfamiliar. I became more adventurous with each challenge.

SELF-CONCEPT

Persons who stutter (and, indeed, those who do not stutter) develop a mental blue-print of themselves. This personal concept is influenced by what they consider to be their failures and successes; their strengths and weaknesses; their competency and worth; and the way in which others have reacted towards them. Our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are consistent with that self-determined identity, irrespective of the reality of that image. Our personal opinions about ourselves are more influential than facts.

Our beliefs and self-image create the script by which we act out our lives – they set the boundaries to our accomplishments. Throughout my life, everything I did was in accordance with what I believed about myself and what I thought I was able to do. These views restricted me from undertaking many things that I considered lay outside my scope.

POWER OF BELIEFS

The majority of our belief system is established during childhood and adolescence. So, regardless of your current age, the beliefs that dictate the way in which you live your life today were largely developed during those formative years. That hugely critical period will continue to dominate our current lives, unless we reassess our long-established opinions and self-worth. Account should be taken of more recent and relevant information that challenges those views, or has been acquired from experiences that bring them into question.

If we fail to confront our disempowering beliefs, they can imprison us. I admired (and had dreams of emulating) those who appeared at ease in front of an audience. Yet, I always shunned public speaking, justifying my avoidance by the fact that I stuttered. I could never envisage successfully fulfilling that role.

Persons who are of a reserved nature may claim that they have always been shy, accepting timidity as an irrefutable and permanent part of their makeup. Such beliefs confine us – they shape our expectations, influence our attitudes and limit our future attainments.

Many of us hold beliefs that are based upon inaccurate or irrational information. Even though they may not be true – because we accept them as authentic, they have a direct bearing upon the way in which we think and behave. Our screening process filters out information that is inconsistent with our innermost beliefs.

What we believe about ourselves moulds the way in which we perceive the world. It influences our educational and employment paths; it determines our relationships and social interaction. But, most importantly, when we believe that we cannot do something, then it’s almost certain that we will not do it.

The unconscious mind accepts whatever it is told. If we tell ourselves that we cannot speak in front of an audience, it helps us to behave in a way that supports that statement. We may decline invitations or (when avoidance is not an option) become so stressed that our performance is adversely affected, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If we believe that we will encounter difficulties while ordering a beer (or meal), then we may allow others to make the purchase on our behalf. If we convince ourselves that we will struggle to say a particular word, we will probably substitute it with another. If we think of ourselves as inept in a particular area, and continuously reinforce that view with negative language, we will act out that viewpoint and substantiate our belief.

Much of our belief system was inherited from those with whom we came into contact during our childhood. As an adult, the majority of our programming now comes from within. Instead of being persuaded by outside opinions, we tend to rely upon self-suggestion to determine who we are, and how we choose to live our life.

Some people routinely forecast pessimistic scenarios, reflecting their negative inner programming. We need to be diligent in recognising those harmful utterances because they creep furtively into our internal chatter without us realizing. The words become habitual – the damaging messages play over and over in our heads.

INTERNAL IMAGES

The self-image is such an important factor in determining our quality of life and in effecting change. The ability to formulate and hold picture images in our minds is, apparently, unique to the human species. In effect, we are the director, producer and scriptwriter of all the images that appear on the motion picture screen in our heads, as well as being the principal actor. To a very large extent, our achievements (or lack of them) are as a direct result of those images.

In addition to physically expanding my comfort zone, I hastened the process of changing my self-image by utilizing a technique known as visualization. By creating internal movies that depicted me speaking in the manner of my choice, I duped my subconscious into believing that I had already successfully spoken in circumstances that I always considered beyond my capacity.

Successful athletes regularly create visual images of desired behaviour to improve their performance. I built up a reservoir of positive speaking experiences (within my subconscious), thus reducing (and then totally eliminating) anticipatory fear of stuttering.

HABITUAL BEHAVIOURS

Most of the tasks that we undertake are performed unconsciously. When we attempt something new it will, invariably, feel strange. That is why so many people (not just those who stutter) avoid venturing outside their comfort zones, preferring their habitual (tried and tested) way of doing things.

But behaviours are not changed by retaining the status quo. We need to widen our self-concept to accommodate the new behaviours and roles; otherwise our existing self-image will continue to impose its restrictions.

Many of us have difficulty letting go of the past. We cling onto our old self-image because we (and those around us) derive a sense of security from the familiar face that it presents. Self-concept is at the very core of our life experience – it can cause us to resist attempts to embrace change, even though it may be to our advantage to do so. The moment I relinquished my old self-image, I discovered incredible opportunities for growth.

DUAL APPROACH

It is relevant to mention that I confronted my stutter on two fronts. Firstly, I consciously applied the new techniques to the physical side of my speech. The resultant control served as a springboard, giving me the confidence (and means) to address the cognitive and emotional issues. By cultivating more empowering beliefs, I gained the impetus to make things happen. I strengthened my self-efficacy by regularly using positive affirmations, while also choosing to view challenging situations as learning experiences, and not difficulties.

Although our long-established beliefs may be deeply entrenched, it is important to understand that they are NOT set in stone. The realisation that I could reappraise (and adjust) my beliefs was hugely empowering and a cornerstone of the advances I have made during recent times.

Having eliminated my negative thoughts about the physical act of stuttering, and my personal attachment to such behaviour, I no longer find it necessary to constantly focus upon my speech. By adopting a holistic approach, and working on different areas of my life, my speech improved as a by-product. (Badmington, 2001)

FULFILLING POTENTIAL

Thomas Edison wrote: “If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”

I, wholeheartedly, agree. For so many years, I was oblivious to my true potential – sacrificing my aspirations for the false illusion of comfort and safety. When I took charge of my thoughts, and systematically exposed myself to risks, I created the perfect antidote for the debilitating effects of fear and self-doubt.

During recent years I have achieved things that, for most of my life, I considered impossible. Public speaking has now become an integral and exciting part of my life. Stepping outside my comfort zone, and treading less familiar paths, has greatly enhanced my existence.

BIBLIOGRAPHY AND REFERENCES

 

• Badmington, Alan (2003). STEP OUTSIDE: Why expanding comfort zones can improve our stuttering and lead to more fulfilling lives. ISAD Online Conference, 2003. http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad6/papers/badmington6.html

• Badmington, Alan (2001). Stuttering is not just a speech problem. British Stammering Association Conference, 2001. http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/badmington.pdf

 

by Alan Badmington

At various times in my life, I have experimented with different approaches in an attempt to deal with my stuttering issues. On several occasions, I experienced increased freedom (and fluency) in controlled environments but I could never hold onto those gains when I returned into the outside world.

The principal reason for this inability to maintain progress was that I focused solely upon the mechanics of my speech. I did not realise that, in order to achieve permanent advances, I needed to change my disempowering mindset.  Another contributory factor was the absence of support, which is so essential whether you are recovering from stuttering, drugs, alcohol, or whatever.

When, in 2000, I decided to make one final effort to address my stutter, I befriended an unexpected ally.   No, I’m not referring to the stuttering management program that provided me with a springboard for change; I’m talking about something that has revolutionised the manner in which we communicate, both individually and collectively – THE INTERNET.

THE INTERNET OPENED UP A WHOLE NEW WORLD

At the time, I had not read any books or meaningful material about the subject that had adversely affected my life since early childhood.  I was virtually ignorant of the various therapies that were available and knew nothing about how other people were coping with similar issues in their lives.

Everything changed overnight when I secured online access. I was astounded by the wide array of information being disseminated and became aware of the existence of several international discussion groups dedicated to the subject of stuttering.

Within days, I joined several of these groups, affording me access to written exchanges between members located in many parts of the world.  The way in which these forums operate is that once an email (or post) has been submitted by a member, it is made available to everyone within the group (either by individual circulation or via a central notice board).

Should someone decide to respond to a post, then that person’s comments are automatically communicated to the entire membership.  This may, in turn, stimulate others to participate, thereby continuing the discussion, or causing the subject to develop in a different direction.

When I first joined the forums, I was surprised and intrigued by the nature of the exchanges that were taking place.  My reaction will be better understood when I explain that, throughout my life, I had met very few people who stuttered. I was also blissfully unaware of the existence of self-help groups or other supportive organisations.

After living in virtual isolation (from other PWS) for more than 50 years, I now found myself reading intimate and moving details about the experiences of total strangers scattered around the globe. It was bizarre, yet somehow reassuring, to learn that there were so many others who had experienced (or were still experiencing) similar struggles, heartaches and disappointments.

At first, I just absorbed what I was reading without making any effort to respond. Everyone seemed to know everyone else – each forum appeared to be an established social circle. I wondered how they would react to intervention by a newcomer and questioned whether or not I had anything of value to contribute. Why should someone on the other side of the world be interested in things occurring in my life?

I JOINED IN THE DISCUSSION

It didn’t take me long to change my thinking. When someone recounted a particular incident; raised a specific issue; or asked for advice; I felt an urge to respond.  After all, they were talking about matters to which I could relate.  The circumstances may not have been identical but there were many similarities to the personal experiences that I had encountered.  I, therefore, felt qualified to offer my views.

In due course I submitted my first post; quickly followed by the second…and the third.  Within a relatively short period of time, I had become a regular subscriber to several different forums, spending several hours each day at the keyboard.  The subjects under discussion were varied and plentiful, creating daily exercise for my old grey matter.  🙂

Before long, I wasn’t content to merely respond to topics generated by other members.   There were new subjects that I wished to initiate myself.   I should explain that my introduction to the Internet (and discussion groups) coincided with the commencement of another very significant chapter in my life.  I refer to my decision to seek the assistance of a stuttering management program that encourages a holistic approach, including assertive self-acceptance, non-avoidance and expansion of one’s comfort zones.   As a result, there were so many exciting things happening to me.

Having been provided with new tools and techniques (that enabled me to combat blocking and deal with troublesome words/sounds), I devised an extensive and pro-active plan of action designed to challenge my self-limiting beliefs and widen my restrictive self-image (as outlined in the following paper that I contributed to the 2003 International Stuttering Awareness Day online conference) :

‘STEP OUTSIDE: Why expanding comfort zones can improve our stuttering and lead to more fulfilling lives.’

http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad6/papers/badmington6.html

YOU HAVE TO STICK YOUR NECK OUT

We don’t change behaviours by retaining the status quo – I knew that I needed to confront my fears and tread unfamiliar paths.  Like the turtle, we can only move forward when we stick our neck out.

My daily efforts to live a more expansive lifestyle were incredibly stimulating – I approached each day with optimism, vigour and zest. I grew progressively in confidence and stature as I fulfilled a wide range of challenges and roles.  But, although I felt considerable personal inner satisfaction, I also recognised the value of sharing those experiences with others.

So, whenever I accomplished a specific breakthrough, or completed a new venture (such as winning a public speaking contest; attending an acting school; addressing a community group; hosting a charity concert; facilitating a workshop; or undertaking a live radio interview), I didn’t keep it to myself.  I used the appropriate group as a vehicle to tell everyone else. I also drew attention to many mundane occurrences that I felt were relevant and of interest.

Relating those incidents had a very powerful impact upon me.  Each time I relived a successful incident, it reaffirmed what I had achieved.  I genuinely believe that my progress during recent years has been helped considerably by the fact that I have been able to tell myself (and others) about the positive experiences I have enjoyed.

Some people may be of the opinion (and it’s their prerogative to think whatever they choose) that speaking about one’s successes is egotistical. Well, I happen to hold an opposing view. That was certainly not my motivation for sharing.  It’s simply that re-living the successful episodes strengthened my memories of those events. (I didn’t feel too guilty because I knew that the delete button was always readily available to those who did not wish to read my posts). 🙂

ACCENTUATING THE POSITIVE

Since early childhood, my stuttering was fuelled and perpetuated by the difficulties, setbacks, pain and catalogue of lost opportunities that I encountered. For over half a century, I constantly reminded myself of what I could NOT do, or the dire consequences of attempting to speak in certain situations. I spent a lifetime accumulating, recounting and giving far too much prominence to the memories of negative speaking experiences. As a result, my stutter flourished and thrived.

The more I nourished and sustained it, the more it impacted upon my daily existence. I make no excuse for having reversed that trait. The worm has turned and, in direct contrast, I now constantly remind myself of my successes. You should never shirk from telling yourself how much you have achieved.

I recently read an interesting article that appears to justify the practice I have adopted for the past 11 years. Research indicates that when we savour and foster positive experiences, it intensifies our positive responses to them. The longer something is held in our awareness, the more emotionally stimulating it becomes.

When we focus on positive happenings, it increases our positive emotions, which correspondingly generate health benefits in relation to our immune system and stress. Other long-term advantages of positive emotions are that they lift your mood and increase optimism, resilience and resourcefulness. They also counteract the effects of painful experiences, including trauma. So, you see, it appears that I was right all along. 🙂
Another spin-off (of speaking about our successes) is that it can encourage others to emulate the challenges that we have fulfilled. I frequently receive feedback from people (both within and outside the stuttering community) who generously confide that my revelations have influenced them to confront obstacles in their own lives.

From a personal point of view, learning about a PWS who successfully embraced public speaking had a huge impact upon my self-concept. Until I heard him speak (in early 2000), I truly believed that such a role lay outside the scope of someone who stuttered. I was inspired by his activities and wanted to tread a similar path. That fortuitous occurrence sowed the seeds of an empowering belief that was to subsequently change the course of my life. After more than half a century of self-doubt and holding back, I finally allowed myself to entertain the thought that I could do something meaningful about my communication issues. The rest is history, as they say. 🙂

I cannot overemphasize the immense benefits that I have derived from participating in online discussion groups. Perusing posts submitted by my fellow members rekindled memories of earlier events that I had long forgotten.  Each time I composed a response, I continued to travel that mental journey through time, jogging additional recollections from the past. When we start thinking about one thing it can trigger a chain reaction – creating links to similar occurrences.  That’s how memories are stored in the brain. I never cease to be amazed by what the sub-conscious can unveil when it is stimulated or interrogated.

Fear and self-doubt figure prominently in the lives of many people, not just those who stutter. They can sabotage hopes and aspirations.  When left to our own devices, it is possible that we may never summon up sufficient courage to confront the issues that are impeding our progress.  However, as a member of an online forum, some people gain confidence and encouragement by leaning upon the knowledge, camaraderie and collective support that are present within that group.

I have witnessed this on many occasions, particularly in two of the forums to which I subscribe. Those who invite guidance and suggestions from others in advance of an upcoming event (maybe a job interview or public speaking engagement) report positive outcomes. But, of course, prior consultation does not always guarantee success.

Following a highly successful work presentation, one member of the Yahoo neurosemanticsofstuttering group wrote:

“Thanks for your very kind messages. Not being alone is very important. Of course, when we are in speaking situations, it’s up to us and we are the only one who can do something. But I believe in the effects of “coaching” and positive speech. You know, for this oral presentation, I feel I was prepared like an Olympic athlete! Best coaches (and champions) in the world had provided me the best advice. I have been very lucky.”

Online discussion groups represent different things to different people.  You’ve probably heard it said that we are all unique.  Well, that really is the case. We originate from different backgrounds; are subjected to different life experiences; and accumulate different degrees of emotional baggage.   We commence from different starting lines; operate in accordance with different beliefs, self-concepts and values; and possess different aspirations.

The desired aim of one person is likely to differ appreciably from the expectations of another member. While some hope to deal effectively with their stuttering issues, others may not believe that this is possible.  Those who wish to adopt a more expansive lifestyle will, undoubtedly, welcome tips on how to achieve that goal, whereas less ambitious members might be content to follow a less-risky passage.

GROUPS HAVE THEIR OWN ORIENTATIONS

I have found that online groups vary considerably in their objective, format and content of discussion, as well as the composition, age, attitude and behaviour of members. Some forums tend to fulfil the role of a support group, while others have a more specific agenda.

For example, the Yahoo neurosemanticsofstuttering group was set up for the “primary purpose of helping and working with PWS to overcome stuttering, utilizing Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Neuro-Semantic tools and other cognitive methods to help achieve that outcome.”

Another forum caters wholly for those with covert issues, while a separate group exists to assist parents of children and teens who stutter.  Some stuttering management programs also offer online support for clients, incorporating the written and spoken word.

The National Stuttering Association provides a network of online meeting places to facilitate interaction between members of its local chapters (self-help groups), as well as an additional group that allows delegates to keep in touch between annual conferences.

The websites of several forums also contain a wealth of useful reading material, together with links to podcasts, videos and other online resources.

I think it is relevant to highlight the fact that, whereas the majority of online discussion groups restrict access to its members, some allow the written exchanges to be viewed by the public. I add this cautionary note because there may be occasions when a subscriber might unwittingly furnish personal details that he/she would not wish to be read by all and sundry.

Another point to be considered is that the exchanges may, occasionally, become a little heated as members write about matters of an emotional nature.  Freed from their customary struggles with the spoken word, some PWS adopt a more assertive (or even aggressive) role and communicate, with passion, exactly what they want to say. Words are plucked from the extremities of their vocabulary without the usual anticipatory fear associated with stuttering.

For so many years, transferring my thoughts to paper was the only effective way in which I could meaningfully express myself. My past oral exchanges were littered with words that I considered to be inferior or, in some cases, totally inappropriate. I succumbed to mediocrity simply because I did not want the listener to see/hear me stutter.

Whilst it is heartening to see members letting go and giving vent to their feelings, it is important that the rules of netiquette should always be observed. We can be both assertive and respectful at the same time. Thankfully, personal attacks are infrequent and can be quickly nipped in the bud by the sensible intervention of the moderator(s).

There are forums to suit everyone – it’s simply a case of trial and error to determine which satisfy your individual needs.  If you find that a particular group is not providing what you require, then simply transfer your attention elsewhere.   That’s exactly what I’ve done.  At one time, I held simultaneous membership of no fewer than 11 groups. (No wonder my wife used to complain that I was spending too much time online.) J

Today I am far more selective and restrict my contributions to only two groups.   As stuttering has ceased to be an issue in my life, I have greatly reduced the number of posts that I now submit.  Although I no longer find it necessary to publicly reinforce the memories of my positive experiences, I still occasionally share details of such occurrences. My principal purposes are to illustrate how such challenges can be created; reiterate the value of exploring uncharted waters; or to demonstrate a particular point.

Nowadays, my limited participation is generally confined to subjects that ignite my interest, or in responding to specific questions that are posed by others.  Due to fluctuations within a group, it is not unusual for certain topics to be resurrected from time to time, as new members join.

LEARNING FROM OTHERS

I have gained varying degrees of benefit from virtually every forum to which I have subscribed.  We can all learn something (however small) from each other’s stories.  Diversity encourages different perspectives. The Internet has become such a valuable asset in enabling those who stutter to communicate with each other.  Over the years, I have developed some close friendships that now extend outside the parameters of those groups.

Reading about the lives of other PWS can provide an interesting insight into how they deal (or have dealt) with their respective difficulties, as well as offering reciprocal inspiration. It can also alert us to possibilities of which we were previously unaware – in relation to therapies, techniques and opportunities that allow us to unearth our true potential when we are prepared to expose ourselves to uncertainty and change.  In effect, it can open our eyes to possibilities that we could never have imagined.

As a result of these online interactions, and the revealing evaluations that we have retrospectively conducted in relation to past (and more recent) events, many of us now possess a far greater understanding of the issues that shape our lives.  We are also better informed about how we (and others) react to the diverse challenges that confront us, and have discovered that there are exciting and fulfilling paths available for us to tread.  But, perhaps, most importantly, we know that we need never again experience the isolation of walking those unfamiliar paths alone.

BECOMING DESENSITIZED

Many PWS find it difficult to talk about the issues that affect their lives, even with friends and family members. Yet, many who subscribe to online support groups confide that they are far more at ease when discussing such matters within that environment.  Divulging even the most intimate details to “total strangers” can sometimes be less challenging than revealing them to someone you know.

Greater openness about my life-time struggles has proved invaluable in helping me to overcome my previous embarrassment.  Revealing my “darkest secrets” (both online and in everyday situations) has greatly aided the desensitization process.

In conclusion, I have no hesitation in declaring that, without participation in Internet discussion groups, I would not now be at such a favourable position in my life.  I view my involvement as yet another important piece in this complex jigsaw that we know as stuttering.

---

Everyone’s Different

By

Alan Badmington

 

Laura has freckles, Nina has spots

Dominic’s fingers are larger than Scott’s

Barbara is skinny, Lorna is fat

Daddy has whiskers as long as a cat

 

Brad is athletic and runs like the wind

Toby is awkward and undisciplined

Grandma has wrinkles and silver-grey hair

Granddad is balding and sleeps in the chair

 

Clarice is pretty, delightful and sweet

Robert’s good looking, but has smelly feet

John’s a musician and plays a bassoon

Will has a keyboard but sings out of tune

 

Martin has black skin, Hayley is white

Charlotte is gentle, Dan loves a fight

Susan has blue eyes, Judy’s are green

Rachel’s are brownish, the largest I’ve seen

 

Vicky is cheerful, Angie is glum

Cher looks like Daddy, I look like Mum

Amy has blonde hair, Anna’s is red

Claire is well-nourished, Dave’s underfed

 

Bill is ambitious and works hard at school

Alex is lazy but thinks he is cool

Jason is boring, Bonnie is fun

She brightens a party like rays from the sun

 

Calvin has short legs, Wanda is tall

Jerry is bigger, but smaller than Paul

Jane is a good girl, as everyone knows

Joey’s a naughty boy, Jack picks his nose

 

Paula’s left-handed, Sophie is right

Wendy wears glasses to help with her sight

Brenda is thoughtful, Kramer’s uncaring

Harvey is cautious, Tracey is daring

 

Things would be dull if our lives were the same

With identical clothing and same-sounding name

If we shared the same interests and musical choice

If we had the same accents, and similar voice

 

My father’s a brother, an uncle, a son

So many identities rolled into one

Everyone’s different, we’re all quite unique

The way that we look and the way that we speak

 

Our troubles, our talents, the way that we think

The way that we laugh, and the way that we blink

It’s great that we differ, it adds to our worth

There’s no-one quite like us, elsewhere on this earth

 

Sometimes when I’m speaking, the words cease to flow

My speech becomes bumpy, uncertain and slow

At times I talk smoothly – at times I do not

It’s just that I’m different, yes different! – SO WHAT?

---

Changing the Words Around

by

ALAN BADMINGTON

I couldn’t say muffin, I couldn’t say butter

If I ordered a burger, I’d stumble and stutter

So, instead of me saying the words that I should

I’d swop them for others, I hoped that I could

 

But you can’t always leave out the words that you dread

There are times when a certain thing has to be said

My sister’s called Sarah, my best friend is Ben

They just wouldn’t answer to Lucy and Len

 

Whenever I spotted a difficult sound

I’d hastily juggle my sentence around

I spent so much energy word re-arranging

Whenever I spoke, I was chopping and changing

 

My efforts to search for an easier word

Resulted in sentences, sometimes absurd

At times, my selections just didn’t make sense

Which made me more anxious, frustrated and tense

 

Each time I avoided a troublesome sound

I felt rather guilty, and very soon found

That my fear of speaking increased even more

The number of ‘problem words’ started to soar

 

I quickly discovered that word substitution

Was simply avoidance, and not a solution

Although I was fluent, or so it appeared

The words I avoided became much more feared

 

One day, I decided enough was enough

I made myself promise, although it was tough

To say what I wanted, whatever the letter

At times I still struggled, but I felt so much better

 

Today, I will say any letter or sound

Confronting my fears is the best way – I’ve found

Should I ever be tempted to waver sometime

I’ll remember the message contained in this rhyme.

(new)	THE VALUE OF INTERNET DISCUSSION GROUPS (2011)
(1)	STUTTERING IS NOT JUST A SPEECH PROBLEM (2001)
(2)	STEP OUTSIDE: Why expanding comfort zones can improve our stuttering and lead to more fulfilling lives (2003)
(3)	HOW I CHANGED MY STUTTERING MINDSET (2005)
(4)	TECHNOLOGY: A friend or foe of someone who stutters (2006)
(5)	TWO THINGS I WISH I’D KNOWN ABOUT STUTTERING WHEN I WAS YOUNGER (2007)
(6)	THANKS TO MY STUTTERING, I’M NEVER LOST FOR WORDS (2008)
(7)	HOW BELIEFS AND SELF-IMAGE CAN INFLUENCE STUTTERING (2009)
(8)	WEDDING VOWS – For better or for worse (2002)
(9)	ACCUSTOMED AS I AM (2002)
(10)	INCREASING PUBLIC AWARENESS (2003)
(11)	ACTING IS A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE (2004)
(12)	MY COMMITMENT TO SPEAKING ABOUT STUTTERING IS OPENING SO MANY NEW DOORS (2006)
(13)	HELPING TOMORROW’S THERAPISTS HELP PEOPLE WHO STAMMER (2007)
(14)	CHANGING THE WORDS AROUND (POEM – Click for the Lyrics) (2004)
(15)	EVERYONE’S DIFFERENT (POEM – Click for the Lyrics) (2004)
(16)	Sporting Milestone Helps To Set My Stutter On Right Track (2011)
(17)	How Beliefs and Self-image Can Influence Stuttering