Gary’s Fluency Strategy: Viewing Blocking/Stuttering from Different Perspectives

Viewing Blocking/Stuttering from Different Perspectives

Bobby G. Bodenhamer, D.Min.
With Gary Lindenbaum

Gary and I have been conversing in recent weeks through telephone consultations.  Gary is a retired school administrator and now has his own business. For sure, Gary has not allowed blocking/stuttering to block his career. I have great admiration for a person with a blocking/stuttering problem who steps out into the public arena and builds a career. That takes internal strength. Strength by the way, that has driven him to Neuro-Semantics for assistance.

It is a real privilege to work with such a committed and determined person. We are all grateful for Gary’s willingness to share his progress and to share his fluency strategy with us in the public arena. He is doing this even though he is a “work in progress” and still has a blocking/stuttering problem but he is determined to continue working and improving his fluency.

I was so grateful a few sessions ago when Gary said, “Bob, I have been going to therapy for years with this blocking/stuttering problem and I always knew there was a missing piece. Neuro-Semantics is that missing piece.”

Through our work, Gary has developed the following strategy that is proving effective in his journey towards fluency. I was so impressed with it and its potential to assist other PWBS, that I requested his permission to post it on the web site. He has consented to do so with his name attached. Following the strategy, I will explain linguistically how Gary’s strategy works.

Gary’s Fluency Strategy

  1. I have images, hear voices and have feelings about what other people will say about me for blocking/stuttering (Looking to others for my sense of self-worth). Then I say to myself, “It is all a bunch of crap; it is all made up. I have always seen other people and mind-read what they thought of me. It is just a bunch of crap.” (Negating)
  2. I now use these images to trigger me to get me to my spiritual place.  I see a white holy light coming out of heaven and into the top of my head and down into the core of my body.  It then goes back up my body, through my throat and then out my mouth. (Meta-Stating)
  3. Next, I picture myself as an adult being present speaking to the other person.  I see myself and the other person (3rd Position).
  4. I then come back to the present moment (1st Position) as an adult looking out at the other person. (Bringing the Resource of numbers 1 – 3 to bear on this adult state.)
  5. As an adult, I “Meta-No” the internal dialogue that keeps popping up telling me that I am what I think other people think I am.
  6. After I Meta-No that negative internal dialogue, I Meta-Yes:”I am a friend to myself.”
    ”God is within me and that determines my self worth (5th Position).”
    ”I am a positive, compassionate, loving, strong and courageous person.”
  7. Then I own my stuttering as “it isn’t a big deal.” (Owning his Power-Zone and Reframing – changing the meaning)
  8. Finally, I give my self permission to have the right to take as much time as I want to take when I talk to someone. (Permission frame)

Strategy Explained:

  1. Letting “Others” run our brain – That is a bunch of “crap!”

Gary, “I have images, hear voices and have feelings about what other people will say about me for blocking/stuttering. These images lead me right into a block as I attempt “blocking” the stuttering. This of course creates a worse stutter.” (Looking to others for your sense of self-worth)

Gary summed up the thinking of many PWBS when he said, “I am what I think other people think I am.” If there is one commonality among PWBS stutter, it is the fear of what other people may think of them because of the blocking/ stuttering. I routinely ask this question of my PWBS clients, “If you absolutely did not care what other people thought of your blocking/ stuttering, what would change about your speech?” In every case, they say that it will either greatly improve or totally go away. Now, in my book, that is significant.

In NLP/NS this is known as the 2nd Perceptual Position. This basically means that we are in the other person’s body looking back at ourselves. However, with PWBS, it goes much deeper for they become the other person and “guess” what that other person is thinking about them for their stuttering.  Gary says, “When I am in 2nd Position, there is no me, no ‘I.'” I become the other person.  There is no separation between them and me. It is like I am not even present. It is not my feeling – it is their picture; their voice; it is about how they are feeling about me should I block/stutter. I am not in 1st Position (in my body). I just check out and I am not even present.” Gary concludes, “Not only do I mind-read their judging me about my blocking/stuttering, I feel like they are reading me while I am in the 2nd Position of being in their body.  It is their picture; their voice – it is how they are feeling.”  In essence, Gary, as do all PWBS that I have worked with, gives complete power and control over to what he believes the other person will think of him.

NLP recognized early on that when it comes to making evaluations, judgments, decisions, etc., that some people evaluate things based on what other people think while others base their evaluations on what they think internally.  An “other-referencing” type person will need feedback from other people to know they have made a right decision or evaluation while a “self-referencing” person will just know inside. This does not mean that a self-referencing person does not value the opinion of others. A mental healthy self-referencing person will value the opinion of others as feedback but not in making the final decision or evaluation.

We come into this world referencing others for, as children, we depended on parents or other adults to let us know if we were right or wrong, if we were OK or not OK. But, as we mature, we go “inside” to make evaluations based on our years of study, learning and experience. PWBS have a strong tendency of fearing what other people think of them. So, in the context of speech, a PWBS functions primarily by letting other people run their brain.  Just switching from the other-referencing to self-referencing can make profound differences in moving towards more fluency.

Note 1: It would appear that most PWBS, do the following in bringing the other’s judgment to bear on to themselves:

  1. They first go second position to the other person and mind-read the other person’s judgment about their blocking/stuttering.
  2. They then bring that judgment to bear on themselves and then associate “inside” the judgment which is their first position but it is a first position “inside” the “other’s” perceived judgments of them.
  3. When that happens, they are “inside” the block which is a first position but the “stuff” of that first position is the “other’s” perceived judgment.”

Note 2: To make this switch can be quite difficult due to the “in the muscle” beliefs that were built primarily during childhood.  Therapy may be required. However, by just practicing over and over a strategy like Gary’s has the potential of making dramatic changes. More than one person has had enough of letting other people run their brain and have just decided to take ownership of their own thoughts and feelings and started trusting themselves in evaluating their own sense of self-worth.

“Crappy” Thinking

Gary, “Then I say to myself, ‘It is all a bunch of crap; it is all made up. I have always seen other people and mind-read what they thought of me. It is just a bunch of crap.’” (Meta-No-ing by negating that old belief)

Now, here in the very first step, Gary begins to move away from that old “stinking thinking” of letting other people control his thoughts and feelings. Now, he has decided to begin the journey of running his own brain by negating giving other people permission to run his brain. It is as if Gary is saying that “I will no longer give other people rent free space in my brain. That is a bunch of crap. I and I alone will control my thoughts, feelings, speaking and behaving.”

So, in essence, when Gary says that letting others control his thoughts and feelings is a bunch of crap, he is bringing a great big “No” to bear on that “crappy thinking.” He is turning the crap into fertilize.

To bring one thought to bear on another thought will change/modulate the first thought and put us in a different state. We call that Meta-Stating. For example, it is normal for PWBS to have fear about blocking and stuttering. Then, they will often fear what that will mean about them as a person, etc. This layering of thoughts multiplies the negative effect and results in blocking (See Figure 1).

Michael has an introductory article entitled Introduction to the Meta-States Model that will assist you in learning about this model.

Also, I have a pattern on the web site entitled The Meta-Yes Meta-No Belief Change Pattern that further explains how this works. Later in his strategy, Gary again uses this pattern.

Figure 1

Now, the brain doesn’t care if we layer our minds with positive or negative thoughts. Unlike the stomach which vomits out garbage, the brain processes it.  Knowing this, Gary has chosen to start layering his mind with positive thoughts by first negating or saying “no” to those negative thoughts (See Figure 2).

Figure 2

All reality is a constructed reality.

Note that Gary says, “It is all ‘made up.” What does he mean by this?  Gary has learned through study and experience that all of our thoughts are created by our own brains. We create the pictures, sounds, feelings, smells, tastes and word meanings inside our head which are the “stuff” of thoughts. The great news is, because we create them, we “make them up,” we can un-make them. Because they are a constructed reality, we can de-construct them and re-construct thoughts that serve us.

Think about it. If you were just to decide to stop mind-reading what others may or not think of you because you block/stutter, what would happen?  Gary explained that when he “saw images, heard voices and had feelings about what other people would say about him for blocking/stuttering,” he would get fearful and block. That is typical, isn’t it?

Now, Gary has decided to say “no” to that thinking and to think something else that will serve him.  Since he says “no” to those thoughts, by saying they are a “bunch of crap” and they are “all made up,” those thoughts will not do anything to him for not having them any more. The more you study NLP and NS, the more you will realize that thoughts only have the meaning and the power that we give them.  For a better understanding, you may wish to read the article Simply Introducing NLP on the web site.

Suffice it to say, our thoughts are constructed by us. They are learned behaviors. They are just abstractions in the mind. There are no objective test instruments that can find a picture, a sound, a feeling or words in the mind. They are abstractions off the neural pathways of the brain.  I do not understand how the brain creates these images through abstraction and I doubt if anyone else does.  However,  I do know that you can learn to stop running old thoughts that no longer serve you  and you can learn to run new thoughts that do serve you.  An old Jewish proverb says, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…” (Proverbs 23:7a KJV).

  1. Meta-Stating with a Trigger

Gary, “I now use these images to trigger me to get to my spiritual place.  I see a white holy light coming out of heaven and into the top of my head and down into the core of my body.  It then goes back up my body, through my throat and then out my mouth” (Swishing the brain, Meta-Stating).

Here Gary is in the process of totally changing his behavior from that which created blocking/ stuttering to that which will lead to more and more fluency. Typically when it came to speaking to someone or even thinking about speaking so someone, his brain would go to the fear of blocking/stuttering and all the many layers of meaning that entailed.

He is now taking that same trigger that did trigger “stinking thinking” and he is using it to swish or to send his brain to his higher resource state.  In this spiritual resource state, Gary experiences: being centered, being a friend to himself, being compassionate, being positive, being loving, being strong, being courageous and having a strong sense of self-worth from his belief in God.  When totally inside this resource state, Gary is completely fluent.

When you learn to take those old triggers that triggered the negative layering of the mind which resulted in blocking/ stuttering and instead allow those old triggers to send you to your resource state, you are well on your way to fluency. Eventually, you will not even have to think about it. Once you have this way of thinking “in your muscles,” those old negative states that speaking use to trigger will be gone. It will no longer be an issue.

Note: Hopefully you have a resource(s) state that you can access and be totally in it. A good place to start is the state of mind you are in when you do speak fluently. Analyze that state. How does it feel? Do you see any pictures?  Are there sounds?  How are you talking to yourself in that state? Imagine yourself fully in that state.

I love utilizing spiritual states. For most people, these states have the most “power” to blow out the fear and anxiety.  If you have beliefs about God, Love, the Universe, etc, go “inside” that state noting how you feel, what you are seeing, how you are talking to yourself, etc. and apply that state to the fear. Do like Gary – when the fear or anxiety of blocking starts coming up, immediately send your brain to your resource state and be there totally in your resource state. The brain learns through repetition. By constant repetition of this strategy, you may be amazed at what you can do. Practice, practice, practice.

  1. 3rd Perceptual Position

Gary, “Next, I picture myself as an adult being present speaking to the other person.  I see myself and the other person” (3rd Position).

Here Gary creates a picture of seeing himself as an adult talking to the other person.  Why is it so important for Gary to see himself as an adult?  It is very important. I believe I can answer that question by simply asking you, “How old do you feel when you are blocking?”  Most PWBS will immediately reply, “I feel like a little child.” Or, sometimes they give me the exact age. And, this age will have around it an experience(s) of being made fun of by a parent, peer or a teacher, etc.

What happens in blocking/stuttering (and most other emotional problems) is that some internal or external trigger will unconsciously send us back to a hurtful experience as a child. We cease being an adult and become a child. So, here, Gary sees himself as an adult which informs his brain that he is no longer a little boy full of fear, anxiety and embarrassment but a grown man with the resources of a grown man. He is not going into a communication as a child.

But there is more, note that Gary is seeing himself in the picture. Here Gary introduces us to the NLP 3rd Perceptual Position. What in the world is that?  It is a model that is extremely important for one who desires flexibility of behavior. Or, to put it another way, it is a model that will assist a PWBS to get “outside” a block and to find a resource state.  I have pulled from the Mastering Stuttering training manual that I am working on the following information about Perceptual Positions.  I encourage you to not only learn this intellectually but also experientially. Actually practice going through each position.

Perceptual Positions for Developing Flexibility of Consciousness
(From the “Mastering Stuttering Training Manual”)

The realization that we humans operate from five basic ways of looking at experience offers tremendous potential in state control and in the enhancing of our communication. NLP first offered three positions. We have expanded them to five positions. We refer to these ways as being the first, second, third, fourth and fifth perceptual positions and explain them in The User’s Manual for the Brain. I have modified that material especially for PWBS (See Figure 3).

First Position

When you associate into your own body, you live in first position. This permits you to look at the world from your own viewpoint. In the first position, you do not take into account anyone else’s position. You simply think, “How does this conversation or communication affect me?”

First position is the normal and healthy position of seeing, hearing, and feeling from out of self. It is the position needed in order to speak with authenticity, to present yourself, your thoughts, feelings, and responses congruently, to disclose, listen, inquire, and be present with another.

Second Position

When you are in second position, you are “walking in the other person’s shoes.” You take into consideration how a communication or event would look, feel and sound from another person’s point of view. In the second position, you imagine yourself entering the other person’s body. In this position you imagine looking at yourself through their eyes. Second position is to understand, feel with, experience empathy for and see things from another’s point of view. Here you’ll feel in accord with the other and have a strong sense of her perceptive.

What do you look like, sound like and what feelings do you get from the other person’s viewpoint of you? In the second position you develop the ability in experiencing empathy. This position gives much flexibility when involved in conflict with someone. From the second position you can appreciate how they feel about your conversation and behavior. Build rapport before going second position. And, by going second position, notice how the rapport deepens. Second position offers an extremely valuable model in deepening rapport.

However, for the PWBS, second position often becomes the kiss of death. Remember Gary’s words, “When I am in 2nd Position, there is no me, no ‘I.'” I become the other person.  There is no separation between them and me. It is like I am not even present. It is not my feeling – it is their picture; their voice; it is about how they are feeling about me should I block/stutter. I am not in 1st Position (in my body). I just check out and I am not even present.” Gary concludes, “Not only do I mind-read their judging me about my blocking/stuttering, I feel like they are reading me while I am in the 2nd Position of being in their body.  It is their picture; their voice – it is how they are feeling.” In this description, Gary has gone into the other person’s body and mind-read or guessed at the judgments the person will bring to bear on him. Gary loses Gary and becomes totally absorbed by what he thinks the other person will think of him.

Third Position

When you distance yourself from an event, you more than likely do it by going to the third position. Third position offers a way of dissociating from the entire event or conversation. In the third position you become an independent observer. Third position allows us to operate from the position of objectivity. Ask yourself, “How would this conversation or event look to someone totally uninvolved?” Imagine yourself being out of your body and off to the side of the conversation between you and the other person. You can see both yourself and the other person. The third position allows you to step back, to gain a sense of distance, to observe, to witness, to feel neutral and to appreciate both positions fully.

This is the position that Gary put himself in in step #3. He stepped “outside” himself and saw himself as an adult watching himself speak to the other person. By “stepping outside” himself, Gary in essence is “stepping outside” the possibility of stepping back into a state of fear. Try this. The next time you sense a block coming on, imagine yourself popping out of your body and seeing yourself as an adult conversing with the other person. I highly recommend a lot of practice learning how to go to the 3rd Position of objectivity for it will serve you well.

Fourth Position

Robert Dilts (1997) first specified the Fourth Perceptual Position in his Visionary Leadership Skills manual. He defined the Fourth Position as “We” C  from the perspective of the system. In this position, we have “associated in the perspective of the whole system.” To take fourth position, step aside and adopt the perspective of the whole system so that you can there consider what would contribute to the best interest of the system. A linguistic format for this position goes: “If we consider our common goals…” The fourth position allows on to understand the contexts (cultural, linguistic, business, family, etc.) that influence all of the larger systems and contexts of our world.

In using this for myself, I have modified it somewhat.  Dilt’s model calls for associating into the system. I first associate into the system and then go to the third position to view objectively my position in relation to others in the team.  Then I go second position to each person in the team and then back to the associated systems position. I rotate back and forth through these positions as I deem necessary. I have found this most useful as have other clients that I have coached.

Fifth Position

Marilyn Atkinson (1997) in an unpublished manuscript entitled “Five Central Ideas” suggests another perceptual position C “a universal perceptual position.” This results from applying the universal quantifiers (all, always) to our perspective. Doing so “springboards us to the valuable idea of a universal perceptual position.” (p. 24). This provides the widest and largest level perspective of all.

By taking this meta-position to everything, we can then learn to take on multiple perceptual positions and even change rapidly between them. Doing so increases our flexibility of consciousness so that we don’t get stuck in any one position.

This may involve “over-viewing through time” – seeing things as they progress through and over time. None of these positions offer a superior position to the other. Each position has equal importance. The wise communicator knows how to move at will from one position to the other.

The 5th Position is extremely important in overcoming blocking/stuttering.  When Gary accessed his “spiritual place” in step #2, he was in 5th position. On the web site you have Linda’s story in the article From Stuttering to Stability how she attained fluency using The Drop Down Through pattern. Linda dropped into her spiritual resource state. It was a “bright yellow light” that to her as a Christian was Jesus. This state is Linda’s 5th Position.  You will note that in that state, Linda could not be fearful about speaking to other people. That state allowed her to quickly gain fluency.

Discover the 5th Position for yourself. It will serve you well.  Every client I work with, one of the first things I do is to assist the client in finding their 5th Position state and to be able to access it at will.

What is your 5th Position?  How would you describe it?  It is where your highest beliefs, values, understandings, etc. lie. You want to do like Gary is learning to do and Linda has already learned to do, you want to get to the point that you can “fly there” at any moment and especially in those times when you feel a block coming.

Figure 3
Perceptual Positions

  1. 1st Position with Anchored Resources

Gary, “I then come back to the present moment (1st Position) as an adult looking out at the other person.”  (Bringing the Resource of numbers 1-3 to bear on this adult state.)

Here Gary left the 3rd Position of seeing himself as an adult with the other person and he came back to the 1st Position of being in his body but, importantly, Gary brings with him the resource states and the mental frames from what he has learned and experienced in numbers 1 – 4. He now knows that the old fear of blocking is a “bunch of crap.”  He knows that it is only as real as he lets it be for it is “all made up.”  He has accessed his “spiritual place.”  This powerful resource is giving Gary the power to overcome the fear of other people which created the blocking.  He knows he is not a child and he refuses to act like one.

  1. Meta-No-ing the Negative Dialogue

Gary, “As an adult, I Meta-No the internal dialogue that keeps popping up telling me that I am what I think other people think I am.”

One thing about overcoming a life long habit of blocking and stuttering is that the old dragons of fear and anxiety will start raising their heads.  You have had this problem possibly for many years and it is well “grooved in.”  So, in your path to fluency, give yourself permission to work at defeating those habituated fear dragons.

Here Gary utilizes the Meta-No side of the Meta-Yes Meta-No Belief Change Pattern mentioned in mention in Step #1 above.  We firmly believe that the only difference between a thought and a belief is that a belief is a thought that we have affirmed by saying “yes” to it as being true for us.  I can have the thought that the sun will come up in the west tomorrow, but I don’t believe it.  However, I do believe that it will come up in the east. I have 58 years of experiential reasons to give that thought a great big “yes.”

So, if it is true that the only difference between a thought and a belief is the confirmation, then to change a former belief into just a thought, all we must do is just dis-confirm it or say no to it. Now, for those “grooved in” beliefs like being afraid of what others may think of you if you stutter, give yourself permission as Gary has done to keep on saying “no” to it every time it raises its ugly head.  Practice, practice and practice some more. If that doesn’t work after a few weeks or a few months, enlist a skilled NS practitioner to assist you.

  1. Meta-Yes-ing Resources

After I Meta-No that negative internal dialogue, I Meta-Yes:

”I am a friend to myself.”
”God is within me and that determines my self worth.”
”I am a positive, compassionate, loving, strong and courageous person.”

Isn’t this great?  Once Gary Meta-No’s the old fear of what other people may think of him, he immediately sends his brain to those beliefs that come out of his spiritual resource place and says, “yes” to them.

  1. Reframing Stuttering as “no big deal” – a Meta-Stating Process

Gary, “Then I own my stuttering as it isn’t a big deal.” (Framing)

Here Gary does two things. First, he “owns” his stuttering problem.  What?  That doesn’t make sense. Of course it is his. But, wait a minute. Before we can deal with an unwanted behavior, we have to first admit that we have a problem and then we must identify it.  Gregory Bateson in his work Steps to an Ecology of Mind points out that when we name something we do so at a higher level than that which we name. We have to think about something in order to do it. And, when we think about something we are at a higher level than that which we name.

Think about this statement that I recently read, “I don’t know who named water ‘water’ but I know it wasn’t the fish.”  In other words, when we name something we have to “step outside” of it to analyze it enough to know what to call it. We can’t solve a problem on the level of the problem. We must rise above it. I do believe that was Einstein who said that.

As a psychotherapist, I run into so many people who hate their unwanted behaviors. They fight them like hell to try to get them to go away. But, guess what, instead of going away, the get stronger.  So, think of your blocking/ stuttering problem. Note the intensity of your feelings about that ole dragon. Now, instead of fighting it, welcome it and name or own it as belonging to you. What happens?  Did the intensity reduce? For most, but not all, it will. It is all according to how you frame or how you think about it.

Now, instead of getting mad at stuttering/blocking as you own it, think about it or frame it as Gary did with the thought like “it is no big deal.” Now, what did that do?  PWBS really create one great big dragon state when they think about blocking/stuttering as determining their identity and running their lives.  Michael and I have an article on the web site entitled “How to Create a Good Dose of Stuttering” that explains this. So Gary in essence is saying, this behavior that I have is no longer going to determine who I am for I am a lot more than my speech and in that light “it is no big deal.”  Way to go Gary.

Note: Gary says, “I think fluently, which creates further distance from my stuttering. To help own my stuttering in the 1st position, I have started to ‘think in stuttering.’ It is always a shock to me that stuttering starts after a stream of articulate thought patterns have taken place in my mind.”

  1. Permission to take his time – owning his own powers – The “Power Zone”

Gary, “Finally, I give my self permission to have the right to take as much time as I want to take when I talk to someone.” (Permission frame)

Another very common belief that PWBS have is that they have to hurry up and “get it out” or they will think there is something wrong with me.  “If I pause, they will know that I have a stuttering problem and they will think I am a retard.”  “If I pause, that means I am an idiot and I don’t know what I am talking about.” These are the kind of statements I hear from PWBS. Now, instead of giving in to that kind of thinking, Gary has given himself permission to take as much time as he needs.

Your Power Zone

Michael has created an outstanding pattern in his Accessing Personal Genius training called “Meta-Stating Your Power Zone.”  Just think, one moment you are alone at home speaking fluently. The next moment you are in public blocking. What happens?  Many times it is about worrying what “they will think.”  The “Power Zone Pattern” assists you in owning your four powers of thinking, feeling, speaking and behaving.

For the “Mastering Stuttering Workshop, I have added another step to the original pattern.  After taking complete ownership of their four powers of thinking, feeling, speaking and behaving, I lead my clients to imagine pushing away what they think others may think of them about their speech. This has proven quite powerful. I recently did it with a PWBS client who flew to Charlotte to see me.  He stood up, accessed a picture of people he thought was judging him and imagined himself pushing them away as he moved his arms in a pushing forward direction. Tears came to his eyes as he did that. I spoke with him last week. He is making steady progress towards fluency. He told me that that one pattern of pushing others out of his life as judging him by his speech was most helpful.

If we choose to take total and complete ownership of our four powers and thereby refuse to let anyone else run our brains, should we not also give other people the right to own their four powers?  Yes, I believe so.  When we mind-read what others may or may not be thinking about us, we in essence are trying to take away their four powers.  Let’s allow them to have their powers. Give them permission to own their powers as we own ours. Refuse to let them control your powers via your mind-reading any judgment they may or may not bring to bear on you. In your fear of them judging you, you judge them and in the process, give your power away.

Point: As we have seen, PWBS usually have an enormous fear of other people judging them for blocking/stuttering.  They fear that they will think they are some kind of weirdo. Or, they fear that they will think that they are a retard or stupid.  As Gary pointed out, this fear  can be overwhelming. Gary says he seizes to be Gary and becomes totally absorbed into what he mind-reads the other person thinking about him.  But, please note, PWBS do not know what the other person thinks or feel. Rarely will a PWBS ask the other person what they think or feel about blocking/stuttering. The PWBS indeed mind-reads the other person judgments by guessing what they think the other person thinks of them. So, the PWBS is judging what he or she thinks the other person is thinking. So, who is judging who?

Conclusion

Based on my experience with several PWBS and with literally hundreds who have had similar problems but whose expression was other than blocking/ stuttering, I can affirm that Gary’s fluency strategy is a great one and one that deserves imitating.  Basically, what Gary is doing is:

  1. Calling his blocking/stuttering a bunch of crap and all made up.
  2. Accessing his higher spiritual resources which properly define the real Gary.
  3. Seeing himself as an adult speaking fluently to the other person.
  4. Coming back to 1st Position as an adult bringing with him the resources of numbers 1-3.
  5. Meta-No-ing the internal dialogue that keeps telling him that he is what other people think he is.
  6. Meta-Yes-ing his true identity.
  7. Owning his stuttering as “no big deal.”
  8. Giving himself permission to take as much time as he needs to speak.

Great work Gary. Thanks for giving me permission to share this with other PWBS.

References

Atkinson, Marilyn. (1997). “The grammar of God.” Vancouver, BC: Unpublished Manuscript.

Bateson, Gregory. (1972).  Steps to an ecology of mind. New York: Ballatine.

Dilts, Robert. (1992-1997). Visionary leadership skills. Santa Cruz, CA: NLP University.

Bodenhamer and Hall. (1999). The User’s Manual for the Brain. Bancyfelin, Carmarthen, Wales: Crown House Publishers Limited.

Note: Permission to Reprint – Permission is granted to reprint and distribute this article as long as it is distributed in total including the information about the author.

Authors

Bobby G. Bodenhamer, D.Min. is an international trainer in Neuro-Semantics and NLP, author of numerous books, ordained minister, and director of the First Institute of NS in Gastonia NC.

Gary Lindenbaum – Retired School Administrator and Private Businessman.  You may communicate directly with Gary at: sglind@adelphia.net.